Zebrawatch 2006

When one applies a sunless tanning spray to one's legs, one should not then decide that the solution to zebraleg syndrome is... more sunless tanning spray. To, you know, fill in the blanks. Yeah. Apparently it doesn’t work like that. I look like I’ve never washed my legs before in my life. And of course it’s summer so if I wear anything but jeans, which it’s too hot and humid to wear, then everyone can see my bruised-looking, splotchy brown legs. And you know everyone is always staring at my legs because they are so fine. (Insert riotous laughter here.)

My solution is to stay parked at my desk and think up excuses in case anyone asks. So far I have: Genetic disorder; Finalist in statewide shin-kicking contest; Bush's fault (haven’t worked out the details on that one yet); Descended from a long line of unwashed hippies, and finally: Something to do with the depletion of the ozone layer.

In other news, the writing schedule has been made. And already I plan to ignore it next week. Go me! But I have a good excuse. My sista and niece will be visiting for a few days and I want to spend as much time with them as possible. I haven’t seen them since Christmas. I miss them.

So now we’ll see how well this whole “organization” thing goes. I have high hopes for it. It occurs to me that tracking what I eat has helped me to lose weight, so perhaps tracking how often I write will help me stay on track with that as well. It’s a crazy notion but it just might work.

Now, I am off to find a loofa and remove the top layer of skin from my legs.