People Are Funny (But Also Sometimes Assholes)

Last night I was at Weight Watchers and the Leader (The Leader is good, The Leader is great, we submit our will as of this date!) was telling some hypothetical story designed to motivate us. She was talking about a fictional woman who stopped tracking her food and therefore decided to stop going to meetings. Then The Leader says, "Now, is she a cannibal?"

In my head I'm all... Huh? A cannibal? Did I miss some key part of the story where that even possibly makes sense? Mentally rewinding... Nope, doesn't make sense. I give up - IS she a cannibal?

So The Leader continues her story, "No, of course she's not accountable." And it clicks. A cannibal = accountable. It all makes sense now. Gotta love that Eastern Shore accent.

Last Saturday I was at a different WW meeting. I was supposed to meet a friend there who'd only been one time before. She got there before me, so I was scanning the seats and the length of the line looking for her. Finally I saw her maybe three people in front of me, so I went up to say hi and show her where to find her little folder to give to the receptionist when she checks in. When I moved up to stand next to her the lady behind her got all indignant and snarled, "EXCUSE ME!" Oh, dear! How dare I cut in line. This is, after all, the third grade and things like that matter.

I said, "Don't worry, I'm going back to the end of the line after I show her where to find her stuff." That still wasn't good enough. I was taking too long. She proceded to tell me where to find said stuff, even though she had no idea what she was talking about. She was still huffing and puffing after my friend and I found her folder. So I told her, "I'm going to move to the back of the line now so I don't upset the delicate balance of the universe." Bitch.

I told Wayne about this little encounter and he said (ala Family Guy), "You should have said I thought you people were supposed to be jolly." Dammit, why can't I think of these things?